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Men Should Display Jealousy

March 31, 2012

Men hate it when their girlfriends or wives talk about, or communicate with, exes. But a lot of guys seem to think that showing jealousy will somehow betray insecurity (which is not particularly appealing to women), so that they should always play things cool and pretend to be unfazed. And of course people just generally tend to see jealousy as a ‘bad’ emotion, full of pettiness and resentment.

Well, tell that to God:

You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20: 4–5)

This is a righteous jealousy, and the proper model for a man’s attitude towards his wife. A woman wants to offer this kind of devotion to her husband anyway, so why not expect it?

Of course you should be direct and firm about it rather than huffy and resentful. But the reason men get huffy and resentful about their jealousy is because they were afraid to say anything about it in the first place and finally couldn’t keep it from boiling over. The error lies in the fear and the lashing out, not in the jealousy itself.

Women shouldn’t feel bad about admitting jealousy either. Done right, it’s endearing.

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 2, 2012 11:11 pm

    Jealousy from a position of power / dominance, is surely attractive to women, whereas jealousy from a frame of powerlessness / impotence, is off-putting to women, as it is to men, in other contexts, for that matter…

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