Mark Driscoll Has Terrible Advice for Men

Evangelical churches are feminine places, in many way hostile to men. Mars Hill Church, which puts out a lot of media, is reputed to be different: a place unabashedly for men. As a first step to learning more about them, I started following their twitter feed (hey, it’s something). So far I am not impressed.

Here’s founding pastor Mark Driscoll telling us that—no exaggeration—it is sinful not to think that your wife is the paradigm of beauty (note also his effeminate body language):

A man should certainly love his wife. But the idea that he must always think her physically perfect is a psychological and biological absurdity. But worse, even telling men that they ought to have this as an (admittedly unattainable) ideal is terrible advice.

Imagine telling a woman, “your standard for loving behaviour is your husband.” A woman who adopted this maxim would do terrible harm to her marriage. Her husband would come to feel contempt for her, because what man will respect a woman who has no standards?

Beauty is extremely important for men, and that’s why it’s also important to women to be beautiful. A man who doesn’t care about beauty (which is what treating your wife as your standard really means) is a man who announces he has no standards. This man will receive only contempt from his wife.

Here’s better advice, for Christian and non-Christian men alike: make it clear to your wife that a failure to maintain her appearance as best she can (within reason) is a betrayal, just as it would be a betrayal of your commitment to her to spend your days drinking instead of working.