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Asian Male Resentment

February 6, 2012

Skarphedin talks about racial preferences in online dating, and concludes that people generally prefer to date within their own race. He says that in-group dating would be much more pronounced in North America if not for the overwhelming numerical superiority of whites (which effectively forces minorities to be more open to inter-racial dating than would otherwise be the case).

Good luck post-racial world.

Quite right. An increasingly diverse America is going to be an increasingly stratified America, to a great extent along racial lines.

Well, at least nobody’s self image is being harmed by all this racial preference. Apparently black men and women rate themselves much more highly in the looks department than do whites or asians, despite being rated more lowly by others.

Interesting. But some people’s self-image has definitely suffered. First of all, remember that preferences don’t always translate into reality. So, for example, one of Skarphedin’s charts indicates that Asian men and women don’t differ all that much in their preferences. But asian women are far more likely to actually date and marry non-Asians than are Asian men. (Stats and explanations here.)

And Asian men have definitely noticed. Here’s a passage from a long and very frustrated-sounding comment on a post at the blog Single Asian Male (the site seems to be down, so I had to linked to the cached page).

The truth to the matter is that the rapid increase in asian women dating outside of their own is a huge blow to Asian American men’s confidence. When Asian men see so many AW/WM couples, it’s an internal struggle that they face where we (I’m asian) unconsciously ask ourselves, “am I not good enough? Is that why so many asian women are dating white guys?” etc.

And here’s an incredibly sad comment by a half-Asian guy (he has a blog somewhere, but I forget where—update: it’s here).

I used to blame the white guys for having yellow fever and stuff. But according to science, its the asian females who deserve the blame, since males of all races try to mate with all races. Its the females who in every single race but east asian, chose their own over others. I have nothing against interracial marriages in the abstract. I just think that in the specific circumstances of American culture, asian females who mate with whites, hurt all asian men. Now maybe its ok for them to put individual interest over race. But the thing is their Eurasian male sons, like me, have to suffer the consequences. So its not some abstract racial myth, but their own offspring. Maybe their right and eurasian couples should just abort the males like me. How dare my mom or dad ever lecture me on anything, when they have no idea what its like to be an Asian male in America. They don’t have my experience so what right to they have to advise? I feel like an African born to a white slave owner or a Jew born to a Roman conquerer. My very birth marks my own defeat.

And here’s the topic on Stuff Asian People Like: #95 Resenting Asian Women for Dating Caucasian Males.

I think the primary culprit here is a lack of assertiveness on the part of Asian men. The characteristic deliberativeness of Asian men is laudable, but it’s costing them in the North American dating market. The point, though, is that there are preferences and then there’s the dating market reality. There are lots of Asian women who would happily have married Asian men, but got snapped up by white guys first. And it does damage the self-image of Asian men: if blacks tend towards over-confidence, Asians tend the other way.

*     *     *

I feel sort of bad for Asian guys, as I myself have taken their best woman. So I’ll be revisiting this topic.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. Mark permalink
    February 24, 2012 9:11 pm

    And here’s an incredibly sad comment by a half-Asian guy

    More to the point about people with mixed race children is the fact that few separatist proposals make room for them. Their choices, as they see them, are:

    1) Be successful enough that imposition of a libertarian allowance for racial discrimination in private matters won’t matter.

    2) Throw in their lot with the current regime’s multiracialist policies.

    In reality, most of the technically talented men who ended up having children with an Asian wife are quite torn between these two, but are forced by the realities of H-1b visas etc. to accept that they will never be successful enough to do anything but support the current regime and its deadly policies. This is ultimately a loser for these guys and at some level they know it—for the same reason the young Chinese men rioted in opposition to the importation of blacks to China’s universities.

  2. April 27, 2012 9:23 am

    Who are these best (Asian) women you have “taken” and how did you determine they were the “best”?

    • April 27, 2012 9:42 am

      Whoops—that was a typo. I meant to say ‘woman.’ I was referring to my wife. I think she’s the best, but I don’t mind if other men feel the same way about their wives, too.

      • April 27, 2012 9:55 am

        As long as she’s not your version of orientalist fetishism …

  3. Ranzo permalink
    June 29, 2012 5:59 am

    You put their before best though? I guess it’s something from your “subconscious”. I think the genetic trait of self-assertiveness lacking in asian males is self-defeatist in itself to say that asians have to improve if you predicted them to be that way. To be honest, white guys with low confidence even best the asian alpha males so to speak, so something is definitely in the wrong here.

  4. Ranzo permalink
    June 29, 2012 6:06 am

    Mark, you’re a white supremacist looking to pit problems against Asians and blacks or causing problems with Asians the same way blacks do with whites, but in reality, you can’t justify your reasons. Blacks have chips on their shoulders, like you guys so use the term, and so do Asians, you can’t call Asians the next whites cause they’ve never enslaved and slaughtered the world.

  5. Ranzo permalink
    June 29, 2012 6:09 am

    Also, I’ve screen capture the post that says awaiting moderation like with a few other videos and such that waits for moderator approval. And I’ll refer people to the link to show that whites don’t want our comments posted in the open forum.

  6. argentich permalink
    August 23, 2012 8:42 am

    It’s also been reported that asians are the only race where interracial marriage is continuously decreasing.


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